,,broken hearts and twisted minds,,

[Isolde]

-- Isolde was scared. No, she was terrified. This couldn't be happening. Not again. She knew was doing the right thing by going to tell Jude. He did have a right to know. Especially if this child growing inside her was a boy. He might want to claim it. That is if he didn't already have a son or a wife. She hadn't even given a thought to that. That just made it even more important that she told him before she started showing. She expected him to cast her off like her first lover had upon finding out she was with child. Not that she could blame either of them. Her thoughts were cleared as she stopped to be ill. She wiped her mouth with a handkerchief and continued on her way. Without thinking, she laid a hand on her stomach. It wouldn't be too much longer before she would start showing to product of her loose morals. It would be more than enough proof for the women of the village. They already had their suspicions. It wouldn't be too much longer before she was standing on her lover's doorstep and now the father of her unborn child.

-- What would she do if he wasn't at home or if he cast her out straight away? Well, she already had most of her things packed just in case. Isolde was ready to make yet another move. At least if she moved somewhere new she could make up another lie about why her child had no father. Surely they would believe her. Her years at court had made her a good liar. Right now she was playing that same charade. The role still fit her like an old glove. If she were honest with herself, it was rather exciting. She had worn one of her old dresses and put her hair up. She had to be convincing. There was no way they would let her into his castle or give her the time of day if she was dressed as her station. Isolde knew what the price was for trying to pose as a higher rank. She was willing to take that risk. Who would know? Jude's estate came into view and her stomach threatened to upturn yet again.

-- She dropped her horse off at the small stable and made the small walk up to the castle itself. Isolde had never been in this situation before. Why had she not thought ahead. A woman, unmarried, never went unaccompanied. But she assured herself no one here knew her. Isolde reached out hesitantly and used the door knocker. She felt so silly but she had to keep her head held high and her back up straight. A lady of the court would never feel or look defeated! Would Jude even recognize her? She'd have to tell him the truth about her sooner or later. Maybe it would all just spill out. Isolde had lived in fear of this moment since she moved here. And to think, she had promised herself nothing like this would ever happen. Isolde stood there and waited for someone to answer the door.

[Sir Judicaël Launcelyn]

Judicaël, slightly hungover from a bit of a fling last night and sore from the morning's battle training, had taken to his bed to sleep away the afternoon. He was a knight by trade; he was to protect his kingdom and his King. But while he trained to do that for part of his time, Jude also had a great deal of his life that he had no obligations--those times, he spent in his own pleasure, indulging himself as he pleased and with whom he pleased, whether that meant drinking or horse racing or smoking or women. He did not do these sorts of reckless things without thinking, of course--Jude only allowed himself so much pleasure in a day, because he knew that he had to allow himself time to read and time to write.

Really, he was a profound spirit. He loved literature and philosophy. But Jude durst not tell anyone such things; he had a court persona to wear at all times and a sense of chivalry and manliness that disallowed too much intellect. Ten years, he had lived with himself. And he'd go ten more. He could wear the facade without thinking now; it was nearly who he was. It had been so long since Jude had tampered with the part of him that wasn't callous and false, that part that was loyal, true, and loving. He had been forced by necessity to change himself inside.

He heard a commotion in the hall outside his room and dragged himself to wake. When the expected knock was sounded at his door, Jude stood and went to greet his man, his hair all disheveled and his eyes tired. "Yes?" he asked groggily. His manservant replied that he had a visitor, and Jude questioned him as to whether or not it was a woman. Woman indeed, had been the reply, but not of the court. Ah. Now he was curious. It may just be a brave poor prostitute, to which he didn't exactly object, or perhaps someone begging, to which he would turn them away with a loaf of bread for consoling. He murmured something inaudible and made his way to the front of his manor.

Jude made it, finally, to his door, and opened it himself to see a face that he had not expected, that was all too familiar. A confident grace about her, Isolde stood now at his door. He didn't think much of her anymore, it being months since last he had seen her, but he still knew the face. And something wasn't right. "Come to spend the night?" he managed with something of a laugh, brushing a hand through his hair. Hell, but he was tired.

STATUS complete TAG Isolde <3 ATTIRE coming later
LYRICS Sputter; The Academy Is... WORD COUNT number NOTES rien
COPYRIGHT Flik of Roleplaying Extras

[Isolde]

-- Isolde stood there, wringing her hands and taking deep breaths. She pressed her hands firmly against her growing stomach. Thankfully the thick skirts did manage to hide it, but just barely. It felt like she had been standing there for hours and she was just about to turn and leave when the door opened once more. She half expected to be told Jude wasn't at home but it was the man himself. Her eyes grew wide and chuckled nervously at his joke. Quickly, she took her hands from her stomach, not wanting to draw attention to it. It had been ages since they had seen each other last but how could she forget him? Even without the child growing inside her she wouldn't be able to forget him. She couldn't help but notice that he looked tired and worn out. She felt bad for showing up like this all of a sudden.

-- "Not quite. It's a rather serious matter. Do you have somewhere I could sit down? I don't feel well all of a sudden." Isolde nearly doubled over, her stomach threatening to spill its contents. Maybe he'd be able to put two and two together. All of this was beginning to get overwhelming. This was real and this was happening again. He would leave her on her own, forced to fend for herself and the baby with no help. She'd be forced to move again. But where would she go? She had no one else. Oh God please help me. She prayed, begging. Her head began to spin and without thinking, she reached out to Jude to steady herself.

-- This was the scariest thing she had ever had to do. Every bad scenario was running through her mind. There really was no other way to tell him besides just getting it out as quickly and bluntly as possible. But could she even get the words out? Would she be able to force those words through her lips again? Isolde never thought she would be in this situation again. Of course it had always been a fear but she had hoped should she get pregnant again it would be with her husband's child. Not a lover she had taken in a moment of passion. She could not find one good thing about this situation. For once, she could not find a bright side to this. Not ever cloud had a silver lining. Right now the clouds over her head were dark and grey. It would take a miracle for this to turn out well.

[Sir Judicaël Launcelyn]

Judicaël was not exactly grateful to have been woken up. He'd had a long night--any further detail would be improper and certainly uncalled for. But he had always maintained a policy of welcoming visitors to his estate, even beggarmen, and he would continue his reign of xenophilia even if he had to feign interest through thoughts of taking to sleep again. He was not reckless, no, but sometimes he wished he were. All his younger years had been spent in strict order, growing up too quickly and having always to answer to a twin brother. Since the fire, everything was different.

He was his own man now—he didn’t have to have a family or a twin brother. He could be who he chose to be, without all the pressure of relations constantly breathing down his neck… Or so he forced himself to think. Losing his family had forced him to change all of who he was: all his morals, all his feelings toward others, all his memories. He’d changed them all to fit in. Now he was a knight of a court that was never in his inheritance with a past that wasn’t real having what he pretended was the time of his life.

He wasn’t a womanizer, really. But he’d become one. And now, as he stood here contemplating why on earth Isolde was at his door, Jude thought the worst. What if she was married and her husband had cast her out? What if she was pregnant? Or worse—what if she was dying and it was all she could do to visit a once-lover? Judicaël admittedly had a soft spot for a damsel in true distress. If anything he’d done had hurt Isolde, he would own up for it, he would do whatever it took to get her better, he’d—no, no. That was a long time ago. That was the old Jude seeping out of the cracks. He would handle whatever was before him with courtly dignity and propriety. Dare he lose favor with the king if he do else? No, never. His pride came first. Always first.

He stared at her curiously. ”Yes, of course. Come in,” he said, ushering her to his parlor which was but a room away, and offering her a seat on his divan. He took his place carefully beside her, not wanting to upset her, or—God forbid it—contribute to whatever sickness she’d taken. He turned to her after swallowing nervously and encouraged, ”Tell me what you want. What you need. What’s wrong.” He tried to search her eyes for something but she wasn’t looking at him. Suddenly, he felt the adrenaline in his stomach reach his throat—he was more nervous now; he was fairly certain he knew what words would follow.

STATUS complete TAG Isolde <3 ATTIRE coming later
LYRICS Sputter; The Academy Is... WORD COUNT number NOTES rien
COPYRIGHT Flik of Roleplaying Extras

[Isolde]

-- She really had to quit worrying. It wasn't good for her and probably not for her child either. Isolde wanted to hit herself for letting this happen again. At least she was older and healthier. Maybe this time she would actually have a baby. Oh god, what if she didn't? What if she had another miscarriage? She couldn't put Jude through that. She'd have to tell him about her past, she just had to. He deserved to know a little more about the woman that was carrying his child. Isolde took deep breaths and tried to think positive. Isolde had never been too religious after moving to Solraya but she began to pray furiously. She tugged at the dress which was suddenly feeling much too tight, and much too like her former life. This was not who she was anymore, she was pretending to be something she wasn't and it felt like a lie. The lies were clawing at her mind finally, all the insanity was catching up to her. She had kept these things repressed too long. They began to tear away at her mind. Isolde had to tell someone, she was about ready to just scream it at the top of her lungs for everyone to hear. She could live this lie no longer. Had she been stupid enough to actually believe that she could pull it off? It was a surprise that she had lasted this long without

-- Isolde thanked him quietly as she followed him into his home. She took a seat, not even taking in her surroundings. Her hands were clammy and she wrung them incessantly. "Oh god, this was a mistake coming here. I shouldn't have bothered you." She began speaking quickly, continuing to take deep breaths. Then she closed her eyes before lifting her head to look at Jude. "I'm...I'm pregnant." Suddenly she exhaled as if the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders. But now she had to wait for his answer. "I'm so sorry. I can move away if you want, it's not the first time I've had to. Oh that came out wrong. I'm so sorry. I'll just leave, you don't have to take care of us. But I thought you ought to know." Her words came out fast and she began to ramble. Then the tears began to flow freely from her eyes and they came with body-wracking sobs. "I'm so scared." She whispered, not caring if he heard or not. It felt better to just admit it. Isolde had no one. Would she ever? This baby was going to change everything she had grown accustomed to. Maybe she could make up another lie that wouldn't cast her as a loose whore. Wasn't that what she really was in the end... a whore?

[Sir Judicaël Launcelyn]

Lately, Jude had been spending more and more time with his head buried in books. He had read everything from old English romances to Greek philosophy, and he was still too far covered by his facade to understand who he had become. No longer was he that innocent boy he should have been. Now he had exposed himself by choice to all the evil pleasures of the world and Judicaël was living a terrible lie.

All the worse, it seemed, now that he'd become a whorish womanizer who had a tendency to plunge into whatever woman would allow him. He looked at Isolde with lustful eyes, even though she had already made it clear she would not have any of him today. Poor thing, she looked so nervous, and Jude thought he recognized that courtly poise in her as she fought her own nerves. But he was surely mistaken; she was only a poor girl from the country. A pretty one, sure, but one without a title. And when she told him that she should have not come to see him, stayed far away, he frowned. "No, no," he said tenderly. He was keeping his logical mind, but he wasn't about to act callous toward this distraught woman. Hell, maybe he could have her in his bed later if he helped her.

But then it came. That blasted moment of truth--and Judicaël immediately had to think with both his reason and his heart. What? She was... dare he believe it? She was carrying his child? Hell. This was bad. But he held his tongue long enough to think of a good response. He did not want to say the wrong thing. He had to keep both his reputation and pride intact, but he did not want to look cold and heartless. Finally, after a deafening silence, Jude answered gently, "It's alright." But she continued to speak, summoning up words that he knew were from the deepest part of her, and he had to stop her. Something in his heart was aching and the real Judicaël was beginning to surface.

"You're not leaving," he said firmly, knowing that whatever he said right now had a bearing on the rest of his days. That was a frightening thought, really. He would sort all of this out later, because his heart was winning right now. He reached to embrace her and took her into his arms, no smile about his face. He heard her three words, and he knew that he had to say something or else she might leave. And he wanted an heir.

"Stay. We'll figure this out. If you had a title, this would be so easy... But for now, just stay here."

He sighed and knew that this would be no easy task. To have in his house a woman that he'd impregnated was alone a problem. To be a bachelor was another. To be a knight who had lately been pressured to marry was something that he wasn't sure he could handle.

STATUS complete TAG Isolde <3 ATTIRE coming later
LYRICS Sputter; The Academy Is... WORD COUNT number NOTES rien
COPYRIGHT Flik of Roleplaying Extras

[Isolde]

-- Isolde wished she could just scream at her brain to shut up for just one moment so she could think. Babies brought on so much trouble. Well, babies who were not planned or wanted. Shouldn't she be know how to handle this though? After all, this was her second time going through this. But the first time she thought it had been a beautiful thing, she had wanted the child and wanted to be a mother but then she had been cast aside by her lover and by her family. Isolde wanted this child but how it would change her life. Well, it would change whether she had it or not. She wished with every fiber of her being that Jude would at least claim it. There was hope that it could be a boy and then he would have an heir. Isn't that what every male wanted?

-- Slowly and quietly he reassured her. Already this was going better than she had ever hoped. He could have cast her out right there and then and made it look like she was lying and that he would never get some poor girl pregnant. When he told her that she wasn't to leave, her head snapped up and her eyes found his. "Are you sure?" Isolde could barely form the words. She was sure he would have sent her packing. How she wanted to hug and kiss him and promise him anything he wanted. Suddenly her sobs began to quiet and only a couple tears flowed from her now red eyes. As he took her up in his arms Isolde moved closer to him and buried her face in his strong shoulder. But his words drew her back.

-- "But that's another thing...I do. Well, I think I still do." She spoke hesitantly. Those words could change everything for everyone involved. "I'm not really who I say I am. But I want to be more than anything in this world. You don't know what I've been through, no one here does." She shook her head and stared down her hands as if she was ashamed of being of noble birth. Isolde hated the wealthy and the noble and everything they stood for. She hated court and hated putting on a facade. But if it meant assuring that her unborn child would have privileges and a father then it's what she would have to do. From this point on she had to put the baby before herself.

[Sir Judicaël Launcelyn]

Isolde's words were haunting. They kept resounding in Jude's head, like an echo that would not leave, and he was beginning to believe them for himself. I'm so scared, Well, yes, so was he. Nothing like this had happened to him before, and now he could see the consequences of his recklessness. He was nearly out of his prime, at his age, and he had recently been so rambunctious that he could not count the nights he'd spent in someone else's company. This was bad. And it wasn't really like he'd never gotten anyone pregnant.

That was just a guess. He probably had, somewhere along the line, and the woman had just kept the word from his naive ears. Even if some force of the gods had kept him from having any bastard children, he had to face the truth now. Somewhere along the line, punishments had to fall into place, and he knew. The problem was, he hadn't the faintest idea what to do about it.

He met her eyes, something about them changed now, and it rendered a heavyhearted smile on his lips. A distant relief was in his eyes but he could not help what was at the forefront of his mind right now. "Yes, I'll... have a room made up for you." He had half a mind to offer her his bed to share, but that mayhap would be a mistake. Chivalrous, he need be, and hon--Who was he kidding? Hell, those principles of the court had already been relegated to the back of his mind. The man inside of him was showing now, peeking out from behind years in the shadows, and he was scared of it. But he was going to think for just a little while with his heart and not any other overbearing organ in his body. He was going to be a man.

He took his finger to her face to wipe away the tears that were left, and then paused. What? Was she serious? Not only, then, had he royally messed up, but he might have someone to answer to? Jude did not know whether to fear this or the be glad that perhaps he could just marry her and have everything work out. He was being pressured to do so, anyhow. "You have a title?" he swallowed hard. "Tell me, please. I can make this up to you if you do... We'll be married within the week." He sounded terrified. He held her closely and kissed her forehead with sound indecision.

And he'd heard something else in her words--a reluctance to accept the great gift of riches. Who would do such a thing? "No, I don't know, but I'd like to... And I'd like to know why you'd rather be a poor woman. You're much too pretty." He meant it sincerely, but the words came out with a bitter edge. No more was he smiling.

STATUS complete TAG Isolde <3 ATTIRE coming later
LYRICS Sputter; The Academy Is... WORD COUNT number NOTES rien
COPYRIGHT Flik of Roleplaying Extras

[Isolde]

-- Isolde absentmindedly rested a hand on her stomach. She spoke soothing words in her mind to her unborn child. She knew it was silly but it calmed her. She promised that everything would be okay. She wondered if Jude had anymore children? Did he know or had the women kept it a secret. Isolde probably would have if she had not been in the situation she was in now. She had no one else to turn to, no friends or family. What could she even do? She still had her job, but she probably wouldn't need that now. But it would give her something to do in case Jude suddenly turned her out after the baby was born. There were ways around everything. Was he that kind of man? Isolde had no idea. She had no idea about anything and it scared her. She hated being helpless. "Oh, yes. Thank you so much." Isolde was truly grateful for this. They both knew he really didn't have to do this. Isolde was sure that it showed what kind of a man he really was. Married? Isolde almost began shaking. "My father was a Duke." Her voice shook as she looked at Jude. A duke was nothing to scoff at. Her father had inherited the title - they were of some relation to the king and her family had always served the royal family well. Isolde had always hated it. She often wished she could have been born to a different family. Just thinking of her former title practically burned her tongue. She hated it, despised it. Isolde hated who she was when she was at court.

-- Isolde nuzzled his hand gently as he swiped away her tears. His touch was so calming. It could calm her down and heat her up. Oh how she remembered their day in the meadow. This was no time to be thinking of that now. That very passion is what had gotten her in this mess in the first place. She was going to hell, she just knew it. Isolde laughed at his words. "Oh am I. I think that's what always did me in. Well, if you must know me, then I should start at the beginning." This was going to be far too difficult and she knew she was going to cry. How these memories had haunted her for so long. Finally she was telling someone. This could, however, be her undoing. Maybe it would be better off to tell someone, no matter the consequences. She was truly sick of living a lie. She may be a whore but Isolde was not a liar.

-- "I was the first born to a Duke. Duke of Elmore (totally fictional I might add). My life was fairly uneventful until I went to court. There I met a nice young man who seduced me and finally get me into bed. I loved him and was blinded by love. I got pregnant. I thought we would get married and have a wonderful life, but he cast me off like the slut I was." Isolde paused and wiped away her tears. "My parents and siblings all but shunned me. I was not allowed to go out. Who knows what kind of excuse they made as to why no one ever saw me. I ended up losing the baby. I hate to admit it, but I'm glad. After that I ran away and ended up here. I cast away my title and took up a job as a seamstress." Isolde stopped suddenly and just stared at him. "There. I have no idea what they're doing and if they're even still in favor at court. I haven't written them. But I think about them, I think about them every day." Isolde looked away and smoothed her dress. "I do not want to see them. And you have to swear no one finds out about this. Promise me Jude!" How desperate she sounded, begging him.

[Sir Judicaël Launcelyn]

Jude watched with a fascinated perplexion as Isolde's face changed from one expression to another, and thought to himself that she truly was far too pretty to be stuck in the middle of the hills, without jewels round her neck and silk about her curves. But he did not comment and instead saw that she had her hand atop her stomach, ever the protective mother. He smiled to himself and tried not to think too hard about what he should do in the eyes of a strictly conducted court. By now, Jude had resolved to do what he saw fit and not worry about the courtly consequences until later.

"It is no problem. Would you care for someone to wait on you? They need something to do." He waved off his lazy servants, though it was because he had so many that they never had to bear too much work. He was kind, in his condescending way, and in this building, his domain, he ruled.

"A Duke? Very nice indeed." He smiled and placed a hand on her leg to steady her. Clearly, this was not easy. He liked having her at his side, though, and her touch was still just as magical as it had been before. Jude laughed lightly, and answered, "As a dove." He stole a kiss, in hopes of calming her, and then lent her an ear to hear her story.

He had always wanted a way out of his facade, after the shine wore off, and this opportunity seemed to be screaming his name. But was he really giving it all up this easily? Surely not... No, he was going to give up the cold mask, but he wasn't going to tell anyone the truth. Not even Isolde. Because he hated the truth and he did not want anyone else to know that he was not who he claimed to be. And clearly, neither was she.

Jude brushed away another couple of tears and said tenderly, "You're not a bad person, and you're not a whore." He stroked her arm and then cocked his head in pondering. What to do. He had to think logically, but now that he'd said what he had, he also had to let his heart decide what was best. "To marry you as the Duke's daughter I would need his word, as well as the king's... I don't know that I can-" To Hell with honor. "-I promise."

He had an idea now. If he could marry her as a woman from another land, then he needed no such permissions. Or... Or he could do as his father had and marry her for what she was. Of course, that had never turned out well for his mother. She'd been beaten and badly used... Jude was so afraid that if he ever married, he would be bad like his father, but maybe those lessons would help him to be a good husband. In these few minutes, Jude had to grow up, and he had never in his life felt so right.

And what would they name this child?

STATUS complete TAG Isolde <3 ATTIRE coming later
LYRICS Sputter; The Academy Is... WORD COUNT number NOTES rien
COPYRIGHT Flik of Roleplaying Extras

[Isolde]

-- Isolde shook her head. "I think I'm fine for now. It's been so long since I've been waited on." She couldn't help but laugh. Of course it wouldn't be too hard to get used to. Her parents had employed many servants. Isolde remembered trying to get used to doing things for herself when she first ran away. It was mainly the cooking and cleaning work. Luckily for her, she had always been independent and the solitude was nothing new. She could never imagine her sister making it on her own, or her brother for that matter. How she hated them. They would never be anything but their title. At least Isolde had made something of herself as a seamstress. Now maybe she would have wealth and privilege again. She hated relying on her title.

-- She nodded in agreement. It surely came in handy back home. It was usually the only thing that attracted suitors. Unfortunately her personality quickly overshadowed the large dowry. As Jude stole a kiss, her cheeks flushed a light pink. Would she ever be able to repay his kindness to her? She would certainly try everything in her power to be a good mother and a good wife should they get married. If only her parents could see her now. Of course she would still not be good enough. She would always be the daughter that almost ruined them. Now look where she was. Back in the same position. Only this time things were different.

-- "Oh you don't have to lie to me. What do you call an unwed pregnant woman? I am! I've been called it plenty of times." It felt a little better just to admit it freely. For all of her life she had been called that by her family and those who talked behind her back. But the fact he tried to convince her otherwise was much too kind. "I doubt we have time for me to try to write my father. I say to hell with them. I'm sure we can make up some sort of story to make this work." Isolde suggested. There was really no way she was going to ask permission. Her father hadn't really ever been anything to her. He didn't know her back then and he most definitely didn't know her now.

-- Isolde couldn't help but reach out and rest her hand upon his. A small smile formed on her lips. "I was so sure you were going to cast me out. You're much too kind for doing all of this. But I must ask you one thing, and it's very important." Her voice was quiet and very serious. "I must ask you to never resent me for any actions and decisions we make as a result of today. I've seen far too much resentment between people in my past and it leads to nothing but suffering and pain." Her father had resented her mother, and her parents had resented her. It was a horrible existence, knowing that you had ruined something for someone and they hated you bitterly for it. Isolde really didn't need someone else in her life who wished she were someone and something else.

[Sir Judicaël Launcelyn]

Jude nodded, smiling slightly and trying not to be so tense. This whole situation was really getting into his veins, and he could feel himself falling metaphorically to his knees before the throne of fate. "If ever you need anything, though..." he started, the mutual understanding implied that he would supply her with what mattered most. Whatever was going on right now he was not letting his pride or his standing control, because he was beginning to understand that he could not be selfish anymore--he had not even gotten his knightship honestly.

Jude's smile brightened as Isolde blushed. He was glad to see that at least he could still get that reaction out of her, whether of lust or of modesty. She was such a pretty young thing.

"Isolde," he said gently, caressing her arm with his fingers, "You are absolutely not. Hell of a lover, maybe, but not a whore. And you'll not be unwed long." He smiled, a glint in his eye, and while the playful Jude was still speaking, the kind and honest man inside of him was still at the forefront. He stole another kiss, just because he could, and hoped dearly that if they were married it would solve most of their problems.

Chuckling, Jude shook his head. "To Hell with them then," he answered. He had to agree--and he should probably tell her at least the slight bit of his past that would comfort her--of course, this was all he was going to tell her of himself. Married or no, she never needed to know who Jude had been before, nor who was lurking just behind his dark brown eyes. "My father married a peasantwoman," He smiled. "She was beautiful and she came with more promise than the court ladies--and she carried his child." Okay, that last bit was a lie. But he had to tell her something to ease her mind.

He rubbed her hand with his thumb, answering, "It is my honor." He heard her out then, and considered his response before answering. How could he ever resent something that was his own fault? And, were he her husband, he would legally have rights over her... Was that her fear? "I would never. Just don't do anything without asking me, alright? ...My future Lady Launcelyn?" He smiled as much as he could manage. He hoped, pray God, this would work.

STATUS complete TAG Isolde <3 ATTIRE coming later
LYRICS Sputter; The Academy Is... WORD COUNT number NOTES rien
COPYRIGHT Flik of Roleplaying Extras

[Isolde]

-- It was good to see him smile, and it was contagious. Isolde felt herself slowly calming down and her tears had stopped. "Thank you. I really cannot thank you enough for everything." Everything was just happening so fast. Which wasn't really a bad thing. It meant she didn't have time to over think things. And so far everything was working out wonderfully. Oh how his smile sent butterflies fluttering in her stomach. She could easily stand to live and be married to him as long as she got to see him smile. What would it be like, being married. Would she be a good wife, a good mother? Maybe she was just over thinking things...like usual. She was going to make the most of it as she didn't really have any other options. Isolde really couldn't wait to be a mother. Ever since she had lost her last child, she head dreamed of another change to have a child. Of course she had never dreamed of it happened like this but everything always had a funny way of working out.

-- His fingers felt good on her arm. She could do nothing but smile at him. He was too kind. Most would not hesitate to call her a whore. In fact, most didn't. That was all over now. Soon she would be married and have a beautiful child. Was she ready to slowly transition back into her old lifestyle though? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad here. Having someone to cook and clean for her wouldn't be so bad though. Isolde was curious what they would do about her title though. She didn't miss it. There was always so much expectation to live up to. How many times had she been given etiquette lessons? Her whole life she had been groomed to be a perfect lady of the court. She had merely put up with it all. Now she didn't have to. She didn't need her title or her family.

-- Isolde kissed him back and smiled softly. Yes, she really could get used to this. Isolde laughed, releasing stress and frustration. His short story did ease her mind slightly. At least title didn't matter to him as much as it would to most. "I promise I won't." She patted his hand gently. A cousin of hers had gotten married to a man who didn't want her and was forced to marry her. He ended up resenting her and beating her constantly. That was Isolde's biggest fear. Maybe they weren't meant to be married but she just wanted them to be able to live together and be happy. They could still have their own lives if they really wanted. Maybe in time they would grow to love each other. A girl could dream, couldn't she? Future Lady. Isolde had to admit, she liked the way it sounded. She leaned in closer to him and brushed her lips against his softly.

[Sir Judicaël Launcelyn]

Jude nodded but memories had begun to flood back into his mind. He was trying to set up that wall again, the one that had always kept him from thinking of Nathanael or Constantia. Without it, he only felt the pain of old days. His first marriage, valid or not, always haunted him when he was not occupied with thinking of something else. "I'm glad to do it. I'm glad to have you here." And that was the truth, because his head was throbbing and turning from trying not to remember his past.

He tried to read her face, the things that were running through her own head, and he hoped that God had enough mercy not to bestow upon her the things that had been so upon him. If she had a past that was as traumatic as his--which, if what she'd said was not all was possible--they might just be each other's saving grace. Her sweet smile up at him was telling of her feelings, and he gave up just touching her so that he could pull her into his arms and embrace her. "Do you know what we'll name it?" he asked gently, still trying to hold back the river of memories in his head. He called for tea to be brought, and then returned his gaze to the woman to whom he had just offered his whole self; his hand, his body, his estate, his title. Isolde was going to be his wife, and with a deep sigh of resignation to fate's hand, Jude vowed silently that nothing would happen to her. She would not come to the same end as his first wife.

"I think," he began, "that we're going to be fine." Of course, that would involve some moralistic as well as lifestyle changes. First of all, no more women in the house. He would not be unfaithful. Secondly, less alcohol, though not taking it all away entirely. Thirdly, less parties. Especially those where he invited the king's court. Then again, after he and Isolde were married, who were her parents to say no? He was rich, he was handsome, and he was a knight. And by then he would have her hand unbreakably. "Mayhap I'll invite the Solrayan court around after we wed," he grinned. He had a plan and was feeling rather conniving.

STATUS complete TAG Isolde <3 ATTIRE coming later
LYRICS Sputter; The Academy Is... WORD COUNT number NOTES rien
COPYRIGHT Flik of Roleplaying Extras

[Isolde]

ooc;; sorry it's so short

-- Maybe this baby would be good for both of them. Isolde was happy to finally have something to run towards instead of away from. It was giving her new hope. This would be a whole new life and a whole new adventure. But she still wouldn't get her hopes up. This was all too good to be true. Only when everything was settled and they were married would she finally admit that maybe things were finally turning around for her. She would finally have something to live for. This baby was giving her everything she had ever wanted. She needed to stop thinking about her past. Isolde was finally getting her second chance to do things the right way. Albeit she had gotten pregnant before she was married but still. She was getting married now. That's all the mattered, right? What would her parents say. Isolde couldn't help but wonder about them from time to time.

-- Isolde melted in his embrace and snuggled close to him. "I'm not sure. I hadn't really thought about it until now." She felt content and safe for the first time since she had left home. She couldn't wait until her child was born. She was not, however, looking forward to being pregnant. Hopefully since she was a little older it would go a lot smoother. All that mattered was the child. Isolde would do whatever it took, even giving her own life, to save the child's. But she wouldn't worry herself with those thoughts now. Slowly she took Jude's large, warm hand and placed it on her belly. "I never thought I would have a child or be lucky enough to get a second chance." She thought out loud.

-- She smiled. "I think so too." Of course they were. She was prepared to do anything to give her child the best life possible. From now on she came second. And strangely enough, it was perfectly fine. It's what she wanted. She would be living for this tiny little being growing inside of her. Was there anything else she would want? It just felt so right - the thought of being a mother. As he began speaking, Isolde looked up and nuzzled his neck. "Oh? That grin tells me you're thinking of something else..." Isolde was very curious to know what was going on in that mind of his.